I said I'd be honest in this blog, so here it is. I lost my way. I started thinking all those self-doubts, and they just got bigger than my vision until I could no longer see my way out.
I didn't like the pressure of having to eat like a personal trainer, having to have the body of a personal trainer (and it was pressure I created without anyone's help). I started thinking that if I worked as a personal trainer, my colleagues would think I wasn't really qualified.
I trained my friends twice and absolutely loved it. And then I broke up with my Chilean boyfriend and lost my way.
Now, I'm slowly picking myself up by my bootstraps and starting again. I can do this.
There is this quote on "The Secret" I love. A philosopher says, "When the voice and the vision on the inside is more profound, clear and loud than the opinions on the outside, you have mastered your life."
I don't know how one continues moving forward even when they lose their vision and motivation. I don't know yet how to fortify my vision against opinions from the outside. But if and when I find out, it will be the way I will help my clients get past their own fears. Sometimes we just need at least one supportive person to tell us, "it's okay if you're afraid. It's okay to take baby steps. Just as long as you keep moving."
I like this idea of just moving. And I mean it in all ways--to move ahead with your dreams without fears, to move physically, to keep the soul churning and bubbling with the razzle dazzle of the world, to keep the heart pumping with love for friends, family and lovers.
No wonder Finding Nemo is my favorite movie. "Just keep swimming..." resonates perfectly with me.
So, I will borrow from Finding Nemo and add a little of my own. My new motto will be simple. "Just keep moving."